He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
