Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This house was built for laser tag.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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