I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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