if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
