It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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