What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
