I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
