Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
