I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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