There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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