His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
