Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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