Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
