Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
