I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
