Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
