nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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