I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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