He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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