what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
