is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was like eating out sand paper
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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