I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think your dad took our porno
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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