My hand turned me down
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
