the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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