just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
