I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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