i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize