The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
