I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
