So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
