So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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