Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
