I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
