Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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