I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize