it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
