i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I want to fling myself into the sun
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
