but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
