My room smells like vodka and shame
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
