she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
