my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
