I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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