they need to just BURY HIM!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
