I hope mine doesn't look like that
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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