tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
