I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
