do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
