I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
