woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
