At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
