This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
