I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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