and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am available for nakedness
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
