Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
