THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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