these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
