i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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