I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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