Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
